Nom de Plume

Slow but sure …

This scathing editorial about America’s stinginess is right on.

Normal. Not.

Harry has a great affinity for paint; as I was painting, he leaned up against the wainscot and had a huge streak running up his side. Then Steve took over painting the wall.

And the dog.

But do give.

Twas the day before Christmas
And all through the house
Hammering and sawing
And not quiet as a mouse.

The noise is insane
and Steve has been bitching
About measuring and panels
And how we’ll never have a kitchen.

This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read.

Thanks to Boing Boing for this fake e-mail exchange.

Office closes at 1.

Louis, the tile guy, didn’t sponge all the grout off the tile, and so we’ve been scrubbing away. Also, I ripped off the plastic sheeting covering the paneling (which has been painted, and is supposed to look like wainscot), but since it was covered in glue, Steve ripped off the paneling itself on two walls. Then, he bought real wainscot yesterday because what was underneath is frightening.

All this is to say that who knows when we’ll have a kitchen again. We still have to finish scrubbing and then sealing the floors, put up the wainscot and then paint. And of course, the cabinets look CRAPPY, especially in comparison to the floors, which are fab. Or will be once we’re done.

Tons of work, but drinks tonight after for the editorial team. Then home to look at the house and weep.

The sixth Harry Potter is pre-orderable on Amazon.com

Have I mentioned that Harry has mange? Caused by Demodex mites, the kind of mange he has is noncontagious, but hard to treat. At this point, he’s getting a shot every two weeks and a dip on alternating weeks. So off to the vet this morning. Woohoo!

Granted, I’m not a kid–but I love kiddie lit and I think Lemony Snicket’s Series of Unfortunate Events SUCKS. Perhaps it’s intended for younger audiences than most of the kiddie lit I like, but there was a 12 year old on the plane to Chicago who was reading them. His mother said he loved the series. And he’s not alone; kids everywhere are sucking the Unfortunate Events up like they’re kool-aid with extra sugar. But I found the 1.5 books I read boring, repetitive, pendantic–and rather plotless.

I guess this is underscored because I also recently discovered a new kiddie lit author I really like. Diane Duane and her Young Wizards series, which is fantabulous, typifies good children’s literature. Like an updated Madeleine L’Engle, or a slightly more hip Phillip Pullman, there are elements of good and evil that drive the plot along. Her characters are believable, unlike Snicket’s characters who are bland archetypes. And not to say that using archetypes isn’t effective, that it shouldn’t be done, but if the story’s not strong enough to make you overlook the cardboard dimensions of the character, it simply doesn’t work.

But for some reason, it IS working. Why are the books so popular? After all, Snicket himself warns that nothing good happens to his characters. There is no hope for redemption because the three orphans who are shunted from guardian to guardian and pursued by the same Count Olaf have the same story repeated–as far as I can tell–from book to book. The only difference is a different setting and a few new characters (who themselves fall into predictable categories, replacing the person in the preceding book). And beyond redemption, it’s the same story recycled over and over again. What’s the point in that?

I think the series is rather like television sitcoms: the same stupid gags for the same laughs. Or in this case, groans of despair. Or the same video game in which the protagonists progress to the next level by avoiding the enemy. I admit to a bias in thinking that literature should make you think. This is mindless drivel. More than that, I find it sad that a 12 year old should find these books entertaining because it speaks to a lack of imagination.

Or so quoth Steve.

We’ve finally chosen a slate for the kitchen–not, alas, the Vermont unfading red I had my heard set on, but a variegated, richly colored “Rajah.” In preparation for tonight, when a tile guy from Steve’s job is coming over, we’ve ripped out not one, not two–and not even three, four, or five–but SIX layers of linoleum.

In the interest of the never-ending house project (floors, walls, furniture, more shit we don’t need), I’ve been looking at various design blogs. Here’s the best of the best:

Design Sponge
Funfurde
Treehugger
Josh Rubin: Cool Hunting
MoCo Loco

There is plenty of it in the world–and sometimes too much. Not only did Steve fail his written driver’s test, but he failed the actual driving test (which he had to take because his license expired) as well because he took a hard left at one of those pesky Seattle neighborhood roundabouts. I feel perfectly justified in posting this for my faithful blog audience to read, considering that he gave me no end of grief for failing the written one.

We’re getting the kitchen floor done. I had my heart set on Vermont unfading red tile, but alas it retails here for nearly $11 a sqaure foot.