Nom de Plume

Voyeuristic and not just a little creepy.

Postcard Secrets via boingboing

Steve got his new surboard last week, and has been itching to get up on it. So we’re planning an Oregon surfing trip this weekend–only to get up this morning and find it raining cats and dogs. According to weather reports, it’s supposed to rain in Cannon Beach all weekend.

I have been informed by Steve that we can’t have a dinner party until we do it properly, which means ushering in the warm weather with a good old barbecue. That we don’t have a barbecue didn’t phase Steve at all when he made this pronouncement; he was on the verge of buying a Big Green Egg.

The Big Green Egg, for those of you who don’t know, is a ceramic smoker/grill/barbecue that is supposedly the best thing since sliced bread. The testimonials, which take up vast tracts of space on the company’s brochure and web site (duh, www.biggreenegg.com) say things like:

“The egg has to be the best stress buster in the world, because there is nothing like coming home and firing up the egg. I treat it like a child, and to me, there are no other grills.”

“HOLY RIB ROAST BATMAN! THIS GRILL IS AMAZING. WE PURCHASED IT ON MONDAY AND HAVE NEARLY WENT THROUGH A BAG OF CHARCOAL ALREADY. THE FOOD IS ABSOLUTLY AWESOME. YES, THE GAS GRILL IS ON THE CURB AWAITING THE GARBAGE MAN’S ARRIVAL.”

“I have been an EGGcited man for three years and I’m proud to say this will be the last grill I will ever use!”

“It’s not just a way of cooking food. It’s a way of life.”

“I once was lost but now I’m found. This is the best investment I’ve made in years. I now have two other grills pulled around to the side of my house.”

“Fine,” I said. “When are you going to buy it?” You have to understand, I’ve been itching to have a party. Steve hopped online and started researching prices.

Big mistake. He then found the Kamado.

“So no Big Green Egg now?” I enquired.

“Ha!” he scoffed. “The BGE is a rip off! It’s for fat white trashy guys.” I couldn’t argue: I’d seen the spelling and grammar of the testimonials. (Although one of the Kamado’s testimonials states, “I had a BGE in another life with a different wife…Don’t want either of them back. Got a #7 and a new wife, and both are a great improvement over their predecessors!” )

So the Kamado is the original ceramic cooker, and it comes in all sorts of pretty ceramic tiled designs that are completely over the top and would fit right in the emerging Japanese garden.

“Great, so you’re buying a Kamado?” I asked. In my head I was calculating when it would arrive …

The only problem is that there aren’t any dealers in Washington. You have to order from their San Francisco office. And then there’s that pesky 8 percent sales tax. “I know, we should take a road trip down to San Francisco–we can surf on the way–and pick one up!”

In other words, we’re not having a party anytime soon.

Just checked my web stats, and am wondering what the person who typed “rip roaring sex” expected from his google search.

Anyone willing to let me have a puppy? – $1
Reply to: anon-69595425@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-04-21, 8:06PM PDT

Can anyone help? We need home protection. Dealing with a stalker ex-wife, it was either a pistol or a dog. I have a 2 year old and am not comfortable with guns in the home.

Things with the ex have gotten out of control. It’s apparent she’s off her meds. To say we’re at the recieving end of crazy and unstable outburts would be an understatement.

The police won’t enforce the protection order yet. Rather than wait for the inevitable, I’m getting proactive.

We live in an apartment and have a 2 year old, as well as 2 cats, so please keep this in mind when suggesting a breed. If anyone has a (preferably male) puppy of good potential size they could either donate or sell for a low cost, it really would be a godsend. I’d also like a breed which is capable of getting nasty about protecting his family and home but is still safe with us.

We both love animals and are great pet owners, please keep in mind this dog will be pampered to death by us, as it’s also a family member.

Thank you in advance!

My last day at Write Image. And I still have a ton and a half to do. Oh well. I am so looking forward to the weekeend. I would sleep until noon tomorrow, but we’re going out the the “plant sale of the year” at Magnuson Park. And we need to get there early …

It’s been a long, long time since we pulled ourselves out of Seattle and went on a road trip. So yesterday, we packed up and headed out to the Skagit Valley for the last bit of the tulip festival. Alas, not a tulip in sight, but Steve and I did manage a lovely drive up Chuckanut Drive (yes, that’s its real name), and did a short little hike down to the beach at Larrabee State Park. The dog cavorted himself into oblivion and snored the entire way home.

That’s pretty much it.

If a factoid is a mini fact, a factlet is a mini factoid. So let me throw down the factlet…

Did you know that Word spellcheck doesn’t recognize the word blog?

Now that their TOS has changed, I can answer that burning question for you. I average about 5 cents a day.

Sigh.