Nom de Plume

The doctor’s office called and all my tests came back as normal. I was fretting, as is my wont.

The only thing funnier looking than a pug is two of them. Harry has a new friend. His name is Monty.

Actually, this picture is very deceptive.

Monty is a stud pug, and Harry is, well, Harry’s a special child. (In all seriousness, I think he has brain damage from his previous owner, who punched him in the face.) Jennifer, Monty’s mom, is holding him down so Harry can attack and pretend he’s ferocious too.

This is hysterical.

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design to be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

Read more.

Jaunted down to Short Sands to surf this weekend, staying at the Nehalem Falls campground. Very pretty.

Write Business reviews. get PAID.
——————————————————————————–
Reply to: anon-80563442@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-06-23, 3:53PM PDT

A national internet startup is seeking folks to write reviews of local businesses. Reviews are short (50+ words!) and can be about any business, except bars and restaurants, they have plenty. Know a good mechanic? Dry cleaners? Music store? perfect. you can earn $100 for 50 reviews and there are plenty of opportunities for bonuses. This is a limited time promotion so get on board now!

Just to clarify, that means 2 bucks a review.

“Please can we go for a walk?”

“Okay, I’ll just eat the fringe off your carpet instead.”

It’s completely quiet–the only noise is the sound of me tapping away on my keypad.

When I think about labyrinths , I think of two things. The first, of course, is the palace at Knossos. The second is the hapless maze builder Larry in Carol Shield’s Larry’s Party.

Apparently, labyrinths have a following. There are labyrinth conferences, labyrinth societies (which I imagine to be similar to the Knights of Templar) and labyrinth parties. And for enthusiasts on the hunt, there’s the worldwide labyrinth locator.

I love speaking at women’s schools because I know what the friendships that you have made will mean to you in life. It’s not that men aren’t often wonderful friends, and I hope for each of you that your BEST friend will be your husband or significant other. But there is something very special about women friends … an identity, a connection, even a salvation. Sometimes they will notice things about your life that you have not. They will remind you that your mate always gets cranky when you go away on business and warn you not to overreact. They will help you get through the loss of a parent or loved one. They will go shopping with you, laugh at a ridiculous-looking dress, and goop on new glamour with you at the makeup counter. They will make sure that you are not alone when loneliness is the enemy, and YOU will be able to do the same for them.

Read more.

When I was making my copay at the doctor’s office, they told me my debit card returned the message, “Hold and call.”

Meaning it was rejected.

Naturally, I was mortified–and very puzzled. I called my bank. The very nice teller immediately asked whether it was a Visa.

“Yes…”

“Well, you know there was a card security breach?”

“Yes…”

“We have 2,000 cards that were affected. Yours was one.”

My account is fine, they’re sending me a new card. But, dang it, I liked that number and had it memorized.

Well, I spent the morning at the dermatologist to try and do something about my rosacea…or what I thought was rosacea.

It turns out I have essential telangiectasia, which can be taken care of with laser treatments. I also, as suspected, have seborrheic dermatitis, and probably have livido reticularis.

The last explains something I’ve had since childhood. All over, my skin is blotchy–almost as though the pigmentation is uneven. It always has been, and it’s worse when it’s really cold or really hot.

Apparently, a lot of things can cause livido reticularis and essential telangiectasia, which means the doctor wanted to do some bloodwork to make sure nothing else is wrong. She said that signs point to it being just a skin thing. But naturally, being the hypochondriacc I am, this means I will be a nervous wreck for the two weeks it’ll take to get the results. So keep your fingers crossed.

Hello,
I just wanted to say thanks for your kind remarks re.
my novel, Celestial Jukebox a while back. The publicist at S&H pointed your site out to me. I am glad to hear it when someone likes the book. Anyway, your site is really interesting to me, and I think you write really well, too. Very intelligent, sharp writing. And the whole Sierra Leone angle is really interesting to me. I hope you are writing fiction…if you ever need help finding places to publish, please let me know. I might be able to help.

Cynthia Shearer
Fort Worth, Texas

I loved The Secret Garden. A Little Princess was my favorite book when I was nine. I guess I missed out on on this gem, though.

Which is probably good, as it would have scarred me for life.

link

War correspondent Saffron Roch escapes a fickle lover while stationed in Sierra Leone, and returns to California after she bears his child. Awaiting her is the legacy of the woman who raised her: a multi-million property that comes with serious strings attached. Ultimately, she is forced to choose between her new life and her old.

This was a stunning read for me, less for the story than for the reminders of Sierra Leone. Names that I haven’t thought about for years resurfaced: the Mammy Yoko hotel, King Jimmy Market…and with them came the realization that I miss the expat world. I am no longer part of it; I have become a true American. This knowledge saddens me. I miss that unreal life on the fringes.

My mother runs an art gallery out of her house; all the pictures on the wall have not-so-discreet price tags tacked to their frames. No one’s immune. She even sold Steve a tinga tinga painting when we visited her in Bucharest three and a half years ago–but insists that she gave him the “family price.” As she says, “I must deal to support my habit.”

She’s actually supporting her habit very well, despite a somewhat whacky pricing scheme. Essentially, the more she likes a picture, the higher she prices it to discourage people from plonking down the cash and spiriting away her favorites.

But I just got this e-mail:

Someone is interested in buying my Lenin portrait. I don’t think he had figured the price–$1125 and not a cent less and plus tax–so maybe I won’t lose it.

Yes, my mother has a portrait of Lenin, scavenged (if I remember correctly) from the Soviet cultural center in Sierra Leone after the fall of the Iron Curtain.

I just pre-ordered Harry Potter, which is scheduled to be released (and delivered, or so Amazon says) exactly one month from today.

(Well, for a couple hours.)

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me. Can you put two of my beers from the basement into the fridge?”

“Okay. By the way, my office smells like a brewery.”

“Really? That is so cool.”

Steve assures me that his beer is doing just fine. It is, according to him, normal for it to burble.

Now if we can just do something about the fact that my office smells like a brewery.