Nom de Plume

I admire bicyclists. I really do. Especially those on Lake Washington Boulevard. After all, it takes courage to don flamboyant Spandex and then appear in public.

Case in point: Two days ago, Steve and I were driving home and there was a guy in yellow shorts. And no, we’re not talking about a pair of shorts that happened to be a muted yellow. We’re talking bright, almost neon, yellow Spandex shorts with advertisements across the rear. And the matching biking shirt.

It was painful. It also topped the list as the worst workout outfit I’ve ever seen.

Spandex is bad enough. No one looks good in it. Particularly men. Frankly, I have zero interest in bulging anatomical parts. But okay, I can see how Spandex is more comfortable, allows more movement, and so on.

But what I really don’t understand is why people pay for Spandex that has someone else’s advertisements splashed all over it. Look, I’ve seen these people careening all over the road, trying not to get hit by oncoming cars. Hell, I’ve tried not to hit them. And I can tell you one thing: They’re not wearing those little outfits because they’re being sponsored.

No, indeedy.

So while I will defend anyone’s right to wear bright yellow biking outfits, I think it inadvisable. Unless, of course, you like being ridiculed on someone’s blog.