On Hobbies
by Zia ~ August 23rd, 2005. Filed under: Ephemera.Steve is one of those people who needs a hobby and something to obsess about. Otherwise, he feels unmoored and purposeless. And right now, he’s at loose ends.
In this, we’re actually very similar; the only difference is that his obsessions take an external form –kayaking, surfing, collecting (anything), building (something)–whereas mine are more internally focused and usually consist of amassing vast quantities of information on some uselessly esoteric topic.
I went to the library the other day, and Steve asked me to pick him up a how-to book. “Any how-to book,” he said. “It’s not important.”
Well, if that’s not a heaven-sent opportunity, I don’t know what is. I marched straight to the home improvement section, and lugged home several books on bathroom remodeling.
Only it didn’t work.
Last night, as we were driving to Renton for dinner in the topless Jeep, he said, “I’m going to be an aquarium person.”
“You can’t be an aquarium person,” I said, grabbing his baseball cap so my hair wouldn’t blind me.
“Why not?” he asked.
“Because you’re weird, but not that weird.”
“Aquarium people are weird,” he agreed.
“Like reptile people.” This from people who have lived for five weeks without a bathroom sink.
“Weirder,” he said. “I’m going to get a huge aquarium and lots of fish. I’m going to join Internet chat rooms and talk about my aquarium. I’m going to invite people over to drink beer and watch my fish. Then I’m going to start breeding my fish and sell them on eBay.”
This clearly points to an existential crisis.
We need to find him a new hobby. Quickly.