Nom de Plume

I fantasize about having a househusband. Well, except for the fact that I’d have to share the house during the day. That could be a drawback. But someone to do all the cooking and cleaning and greet me at the end of the day wearing an apron with drink in hand? Count me in, I am so there. So you can imagine that this title screamed my name.

Lincoln and Jo move to Rochester, New York to pursue her career. He leaves a thriving landscaping business in L.A., and ends up taking care of the kid (that’s the part I could personally live without) and the house. He’s not happy. He has crises. He feels emasculated. (I could live without that too.) And when he finally gets a job, he decides that when push comes to shove, all he really wants to do is take care of his family. Househusband was not a great book; it was, at times, awkwardly written and Linc often comes across as extremely pedantic, which I don’t think the author intended. However, it was entertaining with some decidedly comic moments. And it also talked about that pesky little thing those of us who do most of the housework can all relate to: having the stupid things we do around the house go completely unnoticed.

Steve and the outlaws took off for Vashon Island about an hour ago. I stayed behind because Harry needs to go to the vet. I will spare you the gory details, except to say that pugs get swollen anal sacs. Yeaachh. It’s overcast and cool, with a slight hint of autumn in the air. I would ordinarily be thrilled at the onset of my favorite season–but my tomatoes have not yet ripened. These are the heirloom varieties I started from seed and managed to keep alive, so you can imagine that I want to at least taste the fruits of my labors.

Speaking of gardening matters, our neighbor has just ripped out everything in the yard except the trees. The last owner of the house was a little old lady who had lived there for 40-odd years (we never met her; she passed away right before we moved in) and it was obvious the garden was her pride and joy. Actually, it was the best thing about the house. And now it’s all gone, being replaced with fresh rolls of sod as we speak.

Come to think of it, we seem to be surrounded by garden ripper-outers. Our new neighbors two houses up just pulled out all the organic vegetable beds that came with the house. “We just don’t have time to take care of them,” she explained guiltily. Fair enough. And though the previous owner may disagree, the loss of that garden wasn’t nearly as heartrending as seeing an entire truck bed overflowing with plants collected over nearly half a century.

hi… since its sunday its time for me to talk about baby jesus again…

baby jesus is a god that lives in my heart and talks through my gut….

and he tells me to do stuff like invade countries and stuff and he has promissed to smite my enimies… and he has asurred me of victory over all my enemies. and i hear him real lowd when i have my whisky… i will win soles for baby jesus all over the world with the power he has given me.

and that is how i got elected all the real americans heard the baby jesus calling to them out of my gut and they just love baby jesus… and he has promised me a thousand years of powwer. and he blesses evry thing i do… all the other gods are false gods.

and that is good for america to have a god-man leading them. i shure am glad i let baby jesus in to my heart. bye for now.

Read more from the blog of our illustrious preznit

I want this Sekino print.

At the White Lotus Gallery

The outlaw visit is going very nicely. They arrived day before yesterday in time for the lunch Maribel prepared (and they were in raptures over it). When Steve got home, we ran to Mutual Fish for halibut and mussels, and then stopped at the Columbia City Farmer’s Market for produce. Cooked here.

Yesterday, they took a drive up Lake Washington and the Arboretum, walked around. We went to the locks in the evening, and watched humongous salmon migrate their way up the fish ladder. (I wonder if they think these creatures that watch them through plate glass windows are as strange as we think they are.) Then Ivar’s for dinner; they can’t get enough seafood.

Right now, Pam and Herb are taking an Argosy lunch tour of the harbor. And I need to get back to work.

On Saturday, I bought nopal (cactus) on a whim. I had no idea how to cook it, but thought it would be interesting to try–or at least to think about trying. Knowing me, I would have left it to rot in the bowels of the fruit bowl. Maribel to the rescue! She came over to clean today and was duly impressed with my Mexican culinary skills.

Until I asked her how to cook it.

Whereupon she went into a frenzy and cooked it for me. I love this woman!

The Nopal

Peel the prickly stuff off the nopal and dice it. Boil, with a quarter of an onion and salt, until the water looks gelatinous and the color has faded a bit. Then drain, toss the onion, and add chopped cilantro, tomato, and garlic.

The Mexican Rice
Blend the bejeezus out of half a tomato, garlic, onion and water. Fry white rice in oil. When it turns a golden color, add the above mixture. Continue to add water as needed.

It’s really delish. She also made salsa to go with it: Boil tomato, whole jalapenos, onion for about 20 minutes. Drain and blend.

And I’ve been given a shopping list for next time. On the menu? Chicken mole.

And it strikes me that, apart from the bathroom, there isn’t a single white wall in the house. I wanted something to match this rug, and pull out the colors in the pictures I have hanging in the hall.

And now, it’s blue, blue, blue. Amazingly enough, it makes the space look bigger, and like its own entity.

Here’s my Sekino print of a little girl. I love her; her hair is marvelous.

And Romanian icons.

Steve is one of those people who needs a hobby and something to obsess about. Otherwise, he feels unmoored and purposeless. And right now, he’s at loose ends.

In this, we’re actually very similar; the only difference is that his obsessions take an external form –kayaking, surfing, collecting (anything), building (something)–whereas mine are more internally focused and usually consist of amassing vast quantities of information on some uselessly esoteric topic.

I went to the library the other day, and Steve asked me to pick him up a how-to book. “Any how-to book,” he said. “It’s not important.”

Well, if that’s not a heaven-sent opportunity, I don’t know what is. I marched straight to the home improvement section, and lugged home several books on bathroom remodeling.

Only it didn’t work.

Last night, as we were driving to Renton for dinner in the topless Jeep, he said, “I’m going to be an aquarium person.”

“You can’t be an aquarium person,” I said, grabbing his baseball cap so my hair wouldn’t blind me.

“Why not?” he asked.

“Because you’re weird, but not that weird.”

“Aquarium people are weird,” he agreed.

“Like reptile people.” This from people who have lived for five weeks without a bathroom sink.

“Weirder,” he said. “I’m going to get a huge aquarium and lots of fish. I’m going to join Internet chat rooms and talk about my aquarium. I’m going to invite people over to drink beer and watch my fish. Then I’m going to start breeding my fish and sell them on eBay.”

This clearly points to an existential crisis.

We need to find him a new hobby. Quickly.

The outlaws are not descending us tomorrow night at 10:30, but tomorrow morning at 10:30.

I am in a frenzy.

Steve asked me this yesterday, referring to the fact that we still don’t have a bathroom sink.

Steve had planned to fix the sink this weekend because the outlaws are coming on Wednesday. (Married couples have in-laws; unmarried couples have outlaws.) But we got sidetracked and it never happened. It should be interesting; the only thing worse than four people sharing a bathroom is four people sharing a bathroom without a sink.

As to whether normal people could live the way we do, I feel heartened after reading how one houseblogging couple has been brushing their teeth using the bathtub faucet for two years. (Watch the video.) They seem normal enough (and also, in my opinion, are an absolutely adorable couple).