Nom de Plume

The best thing about giving Steve lots and lots of cool presents for his birthday yesterday is that his competitive spirit is now roused, and he will try to top gift-giving for my own birthday next month. One of the big presents was an iPod Nano; he wanted to start listening to podcasts.

I am the technical person in the relationship. Steve, bless his little heart, is clueless. “Zia? Can you help me? My mouse isn’t working,” is a common complaint. “Zia? Can you help me? My computer won’t turn off.” It’s endearing.

So given his technological ineptitude, I thought I would get him an iPod. I thought it would be easiest for him to use. Personally, I don’t like them: They are just too hip and there are lots of better, more cost-effective, alternatives out there. I use a Cowon iAudio U2. I use iPodder to download and every couple of weeks erase and load it back up using nothing but Windows folders. It’s not fancy, but it’s quick and easy.

Not so the iPod. It is a royal pain in the ass.

I will admit, it looks very, very cool. The minimalist packaging is a joy to behold. But there’s a darker side: That very minimalist packaging includes minimalist instructions. The default display was in Japanese. No instructions on how to change it included in the box. So I had to go online to find instructions. These are the most f-ed up instructions I have ever seen. To wit:

Scroll down to the last menu option but don’t select it.
Scroll up one menu item. This should be Settings.
Press the Center (Select) button. This takes you to the Settings menu.
Scroll down to the last menu option but don’t select it; in English, this is the “Reset All Settings” option.
Scroll up to the third menu item from the bottom one. This should be Language.
Press the Center button to select Language.
Select your preferred language from the list.

I finally got it after deciphering that their “third menu item from the bottom one” actually meant “two above the one you are not supposed to choose” rather than “three above the bottom one you are not supposed to choose.” Could this be any more complicated? Why yes it could, because then I had to download the latest version of iTunes to set it up.

I hate iTunes.

I’m sure iTunes is great for people who are managing vast music collections, but for simple podcasts? It’s a pain and it’s a huge memory hog.

But download it I did. It comes bundled with the latest version of QuickTime, which obnoxiously installs itself on one’s startup menu and task bar and requires one to remove it.

Okay, setup complete. I copied and pasted on to the device as I normally do. But would that work? Oh no, I had to use iTunes to import the folders and then load it on to the stupid thing. (Have I told you how much I hate iTunes?) It’s all loaded up now; Steve bounded out of the house this morning with little white wires dangling from his ears. And I, the person who is going to have to load it up for Steve, am searching for hacks so I can completely avoid iTunes.

So the bottom line: iPods are a pain. But then again, my little iPod recipient couldn’t be happier. And there you have it.