There are two truths staring me in the face as I look at the slowly loading admin interface of WordPress 2.7. The first is that the last year has been hard for me in a lot of different ways. The second is that I miss WordPress 1.5. Blogging felt so easy back then. I popped in, wrote a post, and voila, the blog lived. These two truths converged; I lacked blog luster and the varying iterations of WordPress got harder and harder to deal with. Images stopped uploading. The amazon plug in stopped working. The site took longer to load. So I stopped blogging. I had hoped that upgrading my database and getting the latest version would get me back into it. And it has–more blog posts in the past month than in the previous year. Nonetheless, I am growing increasingly disenchanted with WordPress. The catch is that previous versions lack the functionality that I want, but that functionality comes with a price. Oh, and of course, there’s really no good alternative for what I want.
All of which makes me feel ungrateful. WordPress is free. And for free, it’s a pretty sweet deal. I do appreciate all the volunteer time and effort that goes into getting the latest version out
and coming up with plug-ins that I can use simply by downloading (right from the admin interface, no less). But you know, it’s SLOOOOOW. Slow to load on the back-end. Slow to load on the front-end. Just freaking slow.
The other slow thing has been stuff just getting better. As I say, the past year was hard. The past six months have been just awful. Among other things: I had the miscarriage; Millie got cancer; I got penumonia and had a bad allergic reaction to the antibiotics; my ex-boyfriend shot himself; work has been slowing down and I’ve been worried; my hypo-google-chondria has spiralled out of control. After we were snowed in for two weeks in December, I’m afraid I just kind of gave up and slid into a depression. The panic attacks haven’t helped. I finally went in last week and now am the somewhat happier owner of a refillable prescription for Xanax, and I’m trying 5HTP to even out the moods as an alternative to the Lexapro prescription I also have. I’ve been taking it for about a week, and it seems to be working. So all this is to say that I think I’m coming out of it.