Nom de Plume

Scratchings and Jotlings on Books, Houses, Pets, Art, the Exigencies of Daily Existence, and Other Ephemera

Tag: garden

On kitchen appliances, and who writes this crap anyway?

I just crockpotted a whole chicken–just took the skin off and threw it in there with a can of tomatoes, an onion, some garlic, and some marjoram. Pretty cool. Except for the fact that the stupid knob on the lid fell off, and it turns out that when you factor in shipping for a replacement part, it would actually be less expensive to haul myself down to Fred Meyer and buy a new one. Which is one of those things that just makes you grumpy because it shouldn’t be cheaper to be more wasteful, but I guess that’s the way it goes.

Anyway, in my webbish peregrinations searching for a new lid (or better yet, just the KNOB) I came across this lovely gem of complete and utter crap.

I mean, who writes this stuff anyway?

A company called Sneakin Design, that’s who. And guess what? They’re recruiting! Yes, that’s right, they’re looking for writers (“The only requirements are that you can read and write in American English… That’s it!”), and you too can join the ranks of people making 50 Phillipino pesos per article.

Obviously, someone’s making money on these advertising-driven pages, but it’s certainly not these poor (in every sense of the word) writers.

Anyway, I was curious about whether there would be any more gems in the registered users area, so I registered. I now have the opportunity to submit two sample articles to see if they like my work. Better yet, I don’t have to scout around for topics either, because they’ve given me some to choose from:

Gonorrhea
Gall-Bladder
Gardening
Oil-Painting
Credit-Cards

Woohoo!

My tomato plants have vitiligo, too

Or perhaps, because they’re edible, vittle-igo.

Okay, okay, that was beyond bad.

Anyway, the dry leaf whatsit has taken over a lot of the pumpkin leaves, so I did some ruthless hacking this afternoon. And obviously, some of the tomato leaves have been starved for sun. It’s actually quite pretty:

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And look! I have not one, but TWO pumpkins:

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I just finished rereading all the little house on the prairie books, and next year, I think I’m going to try one of those milk-fed pumpkins that Almonzo grows in Farmer Boy. Which, in case you’re wondering, is most decidedly NOT a good book to read while you’re juice fasting, with its long descriptions of wholesome, fattening farmhouse fare.

More Vegetable Jungle Pix

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The Vegetable Jungle

I wanted a vegetable jungle; I got a vegetable jungle. I have corn, more lettuces than we can eat (they’re bolting), kale, regular cucumbers and round cucumbers, eggplant, pumpkin, zucchini, and the about 10 tomato plants, all marching down the walkway. You don’t really get an idea of how insane and overgrown this is from the pictures.

Looking down the path:

The other way:

Pumpkins!

Cucumbers:

Kale garden:

As spring edges into summer …

“Do you think you might hook up the kitchen sink?” I asked wistfully.

“Nope,” said Steve. “I’m going to jackhammer more concrete out of the backyard.”

Such is life. But the yard is looking gorgeous.

This is my all new Vegetable Jungle. I mulched, planted, and am now waiting …

Harry, warming a zucchini plant.

Sidney Sheldon Died Today, Leading Me to a Personal Anecdote

In the mid-80s, we lived in Bucharest. My mother was the director of the American Library, a part of the U.S. Information Agency. One day, an American man and his wife waltzed into her office. “My name is Sidney Sheldon,” he said, “and I’m writing a book. Can I take you out to dinner and get some information on how embassies work?”

Now there are two things you have to understand. The first is that my mother’s idea of light reading is the latest installment of the Chronicle of Higher Education, which means that she’d never heard of Sidney Sheldon. The second is that this was Romania under Ceausescu, and there were virtually no places to go out to dinner and actually get something edible. And thus, she blithely did what she always does: invited them to dinner.

We were still living in the diplomat apartment complex at the time, a hulking gray paean to the worst of monolithic socialist architecture. It was before heat became such a problem that the embassy moved all its employees to houses so it could ship in heating oil from Vienna (but I do remember how the elevators always got stuck between floors; fun for a 11-year old who always relied on the–very cute–armed guard to get her out). The apartment was quite modest and very cold; when they arrived, we gathered three space heaters in the dining room to point at our feet. My mother and Sidney Sheldon discussed Embassy hierarchy, while I chattered away to his wife, who grew roses and liked making perfume. When the evening ended, they thanked us and said, “The next time you’re in L.A., you must look us up.”

The next summer, we were on our way to San Diego and we flew through LAX. We had a day to kill, which we were to spend with Father de Souza, a Jesuit priest who had been the president of St. Xavier’s college when my father taught there. “Oh!” exclaimed my mother. “We should call the Sheldons!” She riffled through her address book at a pay phone. They invited us for tea.

Father de Souza pulled up in the monastery’s station wagon, an old, rusted boat of a car. He threw our suitcases in the trunk, tying the hatch down with a length of chord. Armed with directions, we clattered onto the wide, quiet streets of Beverly Hills. The security gate was made of wrought iron with three cameras and a buzzer. Slowly, the gates swung open and we climbed up a winding drive to the biggest house I had every seen.

We drank tea–hot chocolate for me–and ate cookies on cream silk sofas, looking out at the gardens through French doors. Mrs. Sheldon not only gave me a tour of her roses, but also cut a huge bunch for me. I clutched them the rest of the day, and through the hour flight down to San Diego.

A couple of years later, Windmills of the Gods came out. My mother splurged on the hardback, reading it on the plane. And she was outraged. “This is wrong,” she kept saying. “This is beyond wrong!” I tried reading it a couple years after that, and was bored to tears. The writing … well, it was popular fiction, after all.

But I will never forget just how gracious the Sheldons were.

Green Meme

Charlotte’s excellent Green Meme.

1. What do you for the birds and the bees? According to the report, we need to plant a pollinator garden to counteract the effect pollution, pesticides and habitat destruction are having on birds, bees and insects. Bees, for instance, like yellow, blue and purple flowers. I attempt to do things, but I kill plants. Steve, on the other hand, has a lot of stuff in the garden that qualifies. I think.

2. Household products. Chemical or organic? Household chemicals contribute to indoor and outdoor pollution.
Whatever’s convenient, to be honest. However, my soapmaking has yielded a lot of green stuff to clean with. I use soap scraps and the soaps I don’t like to wash dishes, counters, the bathroom, and so on. Sadly, organic laundry and dishwasher detergents don’t work as well as their chemical counterparts. I keep trying, but end up going back to the polluting kind.

3. Do you junk?
I really hate all the junk mail we get. I’ve taken us off credit card offers, and as much junk mail as possible, but I really don’t think the “remove me from the list” services work all that well. We still get stuff.

4. Air-dry or tumble-dry? Line-drying saves money and stops carbon emissions.
Tumble, all the way. But I hate doing laundry and do my part by doing it as infrequently as possible.

5. Old gadgets. Recycle or toss ‘em? According to the report, we have to find a way not to fill up landfills with electronic objects. Charlotte says, “Here’s my current solution: fill up the cellar instead.” I concur wholeheartedly. I have good intentions.

6. Lightbulbs – incandescent or fluorescent? Fluorescent light bulbs use 70% less power and last ten times as long.I hate to admit this, but incandescent. I hate the light produced by fluorescent bulbs.

7. Meat or veg? Meat production is energy inefficient. It takes 16 pounds of grain to produce one pound of meat. After about seven years of being a vegetarian, I’m a wholehearted meat eater now. My concession is that I try to buy meat that comes from local sources.

8. Loo paper. Virgin or recycled? The paper industry is the third largest contributor to global warming. If every U.S. household replaced one toilet-paper roll with a roll made from recycled paper, 424,000 trees would be saved. Recycled. Though it’s still bleached and all that. I do wish all those recycled TP companies would skip the bleach.

9. Tap or bottled water? According to Newsweek, it takes a lot of oil to make and ship water bottles, and most end up in landfills. Tap. This whole bottled water craze is one of my pet peeves. First, the materials and transportation that go into it. Second, the fact that most tap water is cleaner. Just get a Nalgene bottle and you’re good to do. And if you must distill, get a Britta. The exception is fizzy mineral water. We usually have a case of that stuff around.

10. Dating – metrosexual or ecosexual? Newsweek says two recyclers are better than one. Dating? What’s that?

A Little Garden Tour

Here we are, entering the side.

The narrow walkway. You note the clawfoot tub that has yet to be installed, along with Steve’s windsurf board.

What is that peeking behind the bamboo? Yep, it’s a hot tub. After I planted that evil little seed of the hot tub for the deck, we went out looking at them … but got this one free from some neighbors who were getting rid of it. Nothing wrong with it at all, and we love it.

Need more privacy! We planted this bamboo (yes, MORE bamboo) this weekend. It looks kind of messy right now, but will eventually be a very nice screen.

Sitting in the hot tub gives a great view of the Japanese garden.

Mom Takes the Washington Post by Storm

They have an obnoxious registration policy, so I am reposting the article in its entirety.

Applying Diplomacy to Conflict: Foreign Service Officer Finds Progress Elusive in Iraqi Province
Ann Scott Tyson
Friday, September 29, 2006

BAQUBAH, Iraq — Wearing an ethnic print jacket over a black shirt and slacks, veteran U.S.
diplomat Kiki Munshi walks breezily across the gravel of the American military compound here, giving a tour of Forward Operating Base War Horse with the same finesse one would expect at a well-appointed embassy.

“This is our beloved generator,” Munshi, 62, says with a graceful sweep of her arm and a deference appropriate for the hulking yellow piece of machinery that she regularly prays for.

Around the corner, Munshi stops beside some rectangular wooden boxes filled with parched dirt. “This is Armand’s garden,” she says with a wan smile, referring to her Iraqi bilingual-bicultural adviser. Glancing down at the lifeless display, her voice falls ever so slightly as she adds: “He hasn’t gotten very far. . . .”

Munshi, the head of the State Department’s 45-member provincial reconstruction team (PRT) in Baqubah, had comfortably retired after a 22-year career in the Foreign Service that included tours in Asia, Africa and Europe when her conscience nudged her into coming to Iraq. So she left her husband, two horses, a dog and a cat in Vandemere, N.C., and headed for the first time into a war zone.

“I felt a sense of moral obligation to try to help rebuild Iraq,” she explained last month over a meal at the base chow hall, admitting that after a few months in Baqubah, she sees the prospects as “difficult at best.”

The most urgent mission of Munshi’s team is to promote “conflict resolution” in Diyala province, a demographically mixed region of strong sectarian and ethnic tensions that stretches from Baghdad to the Iranian border. The team works with local leaders on listening techniques and mediation — “how to take a positive nucleus and expand it,”
Munshi explained.

In midsummer, the team’s hopes soared when local leaders signed an 18-point peace manifesto in the troubled town of Muqdadiyah. The leaders agreed to stop kidnappings and killings, halt attacks on Iraqi security forces (if they “behaved”) and — in an important concession — limit the weaponry of mosques to 10 AK-47 automatic rifles each (no heavy machine guns).

“People were cheering them and throwing flowers. It was very emotional,” Munshi recalled.

The peace held for 10 days. Then it was shattered by a mass kidnapping, followed by the slaughter of dozens of minibus and taxi drivers. “It was so horrific,” Munshi said.

Munshi has not given up on the peace process in Muqdadiyah and other towns. Even Iraqi leaders who rely on militias “realize the violence has gotten out of hand,” she said. But progress, she says, is hard to discern.

Sectarian and insurgent violence in Diyala also severely hamper Munshi’s team in getting places and meeting Iraqis.

Until recently, the team’s bodyguards consisted of 18 Blackwater security contractors who restricted “outings” to three times a week for a maximum of three hours each. All excursions were planned, she said. “If they hadn’t checked it out, we couldn’t go,” Munshi said.

With so many security guards, convoys had only three seats left for team members. “They didn’t want anyone to go anywhere,” she said of the State Department regional security office, which hired Blackwater.

Despite the frustrations, Munshi said, being surrounded by Blackwater guards — with such radio call signs as Elvis, Josh and Dave — did boost her spirits.

“Here in Baqubah, the ultimate status symbol is your personal security detail,” she explained with a knowing look. “So I’m weaving down the halls of the government center with these big hunks with guns — they’re very mean-looking — and they’re around me in a diamond formation, and I’m in the middle with my sandals and scarf.”

The U.S. military took over security for the team over the summer because Blackwater was too expensive, Munshi said, and now the team can travel more freely. “Life is much easier,”
she said, “although my ego is not as well served.”

When not busy with her primary job of conflict resolution, Munshi pursues other PRT initiatives, including an effort to provide Iraqi girls and women with a place to exercise in Baqubah. A building bought with U.S. funds for a women’s organization had been taken over by the local telecommunications director, Munshi said.

“We were plotting . . . on how to get enough back to have a gym,” she said, noting that Iraqi girls past age 10 “can’t go out in shorts or pants and run around a field.”

She hopes, too, to create a theater where girls can act onstage, something else that is “almost forbidden” for women in Iraq’s Muslim society.

Munshi is also seeking funding for her latest idea: to provide riding therapy for Iraqi children injured in the violence.

Munshi signed up for a year on the U.S. military base, and said conditions are tolerable.
She is one of the few with a shower and toilet in her trailerlike quarters, but she greatly misses her husband and pets. “There’s no one to cuddle,” she said. “I can’t hug my team members.”

Still, she perseveres. Munshi said one of her strongest impressions about Iraq is “how depressed people are.”

Once she got into an argument with a young man who attributed his country’s problems to Iraqis being “all bad people.” Ultimately, the man joined Munshi’s team. “We gave him a glimmer of hope,” she said. “People are looking for some kind of evidence the future might be better.”

The All New One Pound Wonder

Although I’ve been lax in posting, I’ve found an all new one-pound wonder — and it fits perfectly into microwave-safe Chinese takeout boxes for molding. When done, simply unpeel the sides and slice. There’s a slight slant to the edges, but who cares? Not I — especially if it means not fussing with waxed paper and stuff.

The recipe is:

126 g oo
126 g palm
108 coil/pko

4.5 oz water
51 g lye (coil) / 50 g lye (pko)

Using this recipe, I’ve made a lovely carrot soap, replacing the water with carrot juice (half added to lye, half when mixing all ingredients) and adding cardamom and ginger essential oils.

Nicki gave us grapes from her garden before we left for Canada. There was no way we could eat them all, so I mushed them up and used the juice the same way. It was really cool; when I added the lye it hissed and fizzed, and turned a deep brown color. Alas, the soap itself crumbled when it came out of the mold. I think the sugar content was way too high.

The lavender batch turned out just fine.

Last night, I modified one pound wonder by replacing the oo with half almond oil and half safflower. Scented with a blackberry rose (dyptique type) FO, and added red sandalwood powder to the lye to make it purple.